Whoa…look at all that text. I didn’t even bother to read it all.

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I officially feel as though I’m a cartoonist: for the past three days I haven’t bathed because I was busy with my art…

Is there an award for that? Is it shaped like a luffa sponge?

Harvest started; it’s the earliest wheat harvest this place has ever seen, and the farmers are all thrilled.

My Dads helping my Granduncle with the harvest….they won’t let me near the million dollar combines, though, so I have to watch from the house.

I don’t blame them; if I owned a million dollar object, I wouldn’t let me near it either.

- Love, Sammy Odette

Alice says Mr. Denton looks like a Jack-o-Lantern – also, Nobby is me here; I would get into a panel van if they offered me tea.

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I had a fabulous Memorial Day!

I often forget how much I enjoy my father’s side of the family, but I was reminded the moment the banter at the restaurant started.

I recited How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck as fast as I could (which is very fast, considering my siblings and I are speed-talkers – this is from Mom’s side of the family) to the great amusement of my Granduncle.

But what was strange was that Alice and I got gifts. Is this a gift-giving holiday? I never knew.

Nonetheless, our Uncle Robert gave Alice a beautiful French mantle clock from the late 1800′s, which he had restored for her, and my Grandma, knowing my use of teacups, gave me antique silver demitasse spoons, which belonged to my great-great-grandmother.

One even has bite marks where my great-great-granduncle, in his infancy, gnawed them fiercely. (D’aww)

I hope you had an exquisite Memorial Day as well.

- Love, Sammy Odette

His name is Mr. Denton and…he has no feet.

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As someone who was raised on the West Coast and now lives in the Midwest, I have to say…there’re some dissimilarities between the two of these places.

One thing in particular, however, is what holiday is considered dramatic.

On the West Coast, Cinco de Mayo is a big thing. It was awesome; the smell of fried flor de calabaza filled the streets during the day, and I fell asleep to the mariachi music blaring in every house.

On the other hand, Memorial Day? Nothing really noted.

But here, where I live now, it is vitally important to the community.

Fortunately for me, part of the Jacobson family tradition is to eat Chinese food, and who am I to defy my kin’s law?

P.S.: This means I’ll be on hiatus for a 48 hours.

- Love, Sammy Odette

So true, Raw….so true.

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Today was busy!

My Uncle (Which is to say my first cousin once removed – which is to say my Granduncle’s son) Jerry is coming to stay for a few weeks, so we had to hurry up and clean the house within an inch of its life.

We’re also getting ready for Memorial Day. My Grandmother is coming to visit, and we’re going to visit the Jacobson Family Graveyard and pay respects to my Grandfather and various other relations who served in the military.

We’ll be having homemade ice-cream pie.

- Love, Sammy Odette

Stalker love…they say it’s the purest love there is!

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Monday encountered a snapping turtle today.

It didn’t turn out so hot.

I also put a sticker that said ‘tomato’ on her forehead – she didn’t notice.

She is about sixteen weeks old, and weighs sixty-seven pounds. Dad says she’ll weigh more than me when she’s through, and speculates that if we tie her up to a little kid’s wagon, she could pull me around.

Dear Lord, let it be so.

- Love, Sammy Odette

It’s a peacat. Which is a peafowl meshed with a cat.

On that note; have you ever noticed how the call of a peafowl sounds like a mewling cat?

I certainly have – it’s weird.

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About a quarter mile from the house is the barn, and next to the barn is part of a cow pen which my wonderful Granduncle converted into a garden for my Mother.

This garden is surrounded by an electric fence. Also, for good measure, it has plastic bags tied to poles (so when it’s night time and the wind is blowing, the bags make that swishy noise and scares off the wildlife)

In spite of all this…something has gotten in and eaten the cucumber starts.

Mom’s hair is turning gray. She’s also is mumbling curses in French. I feel something drastic will break any moment.

I also feel that I no longer need action movies, as this ongoing battle is far more amusing.

- Love, Sammy Odette

If I was a psychiatrist, I would be concerned about all these cephalopods that surface in my work.

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As someone who once lived in a polluted, densely populated city, I must say: It is so beautiful out here in the country.

I was sitting on an old cement-and-wood water cistern behind the house next to the brome field (at a time of day when the moths won’t try to build nests in my hair), and the sun was warming my stomach and lighting the praying-mantis-green grass.

I never will understand why farmer’s kids move away to big, ugly cities when they have paradise at their doorstep.

- Love, Sammy Odette

Zinobi is a Legend of Zelda nerd.

Also, this academy has a serious cephalopod problem; who does one even call for such a thing?

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I had to publish this one early the next day, because I was distracted yesterday; Alice, Lucas, the ridiculous puppy and I went mulberry picking.

Turns out the Ridiculous Puppy (formerly known as Monday) has an intense love for mulberries. She was snuffling along the ground like a pig, eating all the fallen berries. Then she would jump up and down, pulling berries from overhanging branches as best as her graceless bulk would allow.

After about two hours of work, we got about half a family-sized ice-cream bucket full.

Naturally, I kept likening us to Peter Rabbit (Lucas), Flopsy (Myself), Mopsy (Monday), and Cotton-tail (Alice).

Peter and Cotton-tail told me to shut up and keep picking.

- Sammy Odette

This is why only people who are over six feet should change lightbulbs. This rule is also not looked upon favorably by my unreasonably tall brother, Jules.

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It’s strange how things tend to work out.

I never knew my Mom’s Dad (he died before I was born), and I never really knew my Dad’s Dad because he lived in a different state and was too old to travel…so, in sum, I never really had the wonderful Grandfather’s you always hear about in books.

…But I have two of the best Granduncles on the face of the planet.

My Maternal Granduncle is extremely handy at crafting things, and has some of the most interesting stories about Mom’s, ah, ‘eccentric’ relations. He once, because Mom mentioned I needed one, handmade me a wood and tile trivet for my teapot!

And then there’s my Paternal Granduncle. I didn’t really know him until my parents moved to his old house on the farm. That’s when I found out that at ninety-four, he’s healthier than most teenagers. His hearing is fabulous, his eyesight is fine, his mind is sharp as a tack, and he has a full head of hair (I don’t really care about such things, but I know he’s well aware of this fact; he always carries abound a comb. It’s too cute.) He often drives around to us and answers anything we have questions on. He has a shop up by the barn that he works in almost every day, including  woodworking. Right now he’s building me a frame for an old painting Mom bought for me at a antiques shop.

I can’t say how thankful I am for both of them.

- Love, Sammy Odette

Chancefellow thinks Zinobi is the figurative bomb.

He also kinda looks like Mario.

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From hence forth, I will have a day of the week off. If only so my splintering back will recover from my abuse, and so that my hand doesn’t cramp as much, and so that I can find all the skultulas on Ocarina of Time.

So, for my day off, Lucas (the sibling just above me in age) watched The Phantom of the Opera with me!

I watch it annually, and sometimes I like watching it with sibs.

That’s what I like about my brothers; they’re so secure in their masculinity, they don’t feel embarrassed about watching or reading girly things….I think they realize it scores big points with girlfriends/fiancees/wives.

- Love, Sammy Odette